It's a Man's Life, They Said...

As an executive at Geoscience Capability Management, on any given day at work, I'm expected to remember:

• The assessment results of all staff
• Whose results are good and whose results aren't
• Why the people with good assessment results aren't CEOs yet
• Why the people with bad assessment results don't have good ones
• Who went for assessment in which year
• Who didn't go for assessment in which year and why
• Which trainings have they attended and which they haven't
• Who's away on maternity or about to go off on maternity
• Whose kidney has stones and whose kidneys are fine
• Who's in Myanmar, Surinam, Indonesia or Turkmenistan at any given time
• Who's retired and who's not
• Who's transferred in and who's transferred out
• Who signed off on what proposal in what year
• Who each person's supervisor is but only up until the Vice-President level (because everyone obviously knows who the Vice-President reports to, right?)
• The sub-disciplines of all staff (they all look at rocks but which fucking part, homie?)

And that's just the beginning.
People also expect me to know:

• Where the refreshments are (Are they on the way? Still in the shop? Ordered? Not ordered)
• Why the printers don't work (because I have a degree in Info Tech)
• How to fix the Internet when it goes down (because I have a degree in Info Tech)
• How to build a better system than SAP (because I have a degree in Info Tech and also because the thousands of software engineers in SAP are obviously stupider than me right?)
• The passwords for each pool laptop the department owns
• The locations of each and every single file in the common drive
• Which LAN port works and which doesn't on Levels 36, 37, 40 and 43
• Why the projector isn't as sharp as it can be
• Why the room doesn't have stationery/flipchart/projector/aircond

And because I can answer 80% of questions above (I'm literally know whose kidneys have stones), my (not so unreasonable) request to be allowed to do something else other than this nonsense is continuously denied.

Never mind the fact that I don't have a proper career path. Never mind that in nearly four years all the trainings I've attended are generic mindset bullshit like "Achieving Breakthrough Performance" and "Striving For Excellence" (no offence but I detest nonsense like that). As long as I'm there to remember all the irrelevant little junk for everyone else, it should be fine. I'm supposed to be grateful for the opportunity anyway. Serving the nation, remember?

Sometimes I wonder why I didn't just join an airline like my sister did. It's practically the same shit anyway (i.e. modern-day slavery). It pays equally as well and you get to see the bloody world while you're at it.

God, I'm jaded.